What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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