Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
