Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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