omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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