Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
