im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
