it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
