when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
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This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
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I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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