My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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