My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
They have beer where we have blood.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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