have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
