Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize