mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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