I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
