Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
