Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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