I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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