The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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