My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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