are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
