It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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