dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
