dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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