those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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