You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
