you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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