All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think people are normalizing furries
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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