He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
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What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
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it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
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