the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I can't turn off my feet"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
