everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
This is the high leading the old right now
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
