i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
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