There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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