Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm getting married
To pizza
I still have a little drunk in my system
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
