hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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