A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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