is your mom at the bar?
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
