HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
