I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Quick, to the slutcave!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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