Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
