I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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