I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
