I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
