im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
