you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
