its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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