The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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