When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
two words...techno handjob
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
