Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs

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(513): Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs http://tfl.nu/gf82

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(435): View more from Utah

Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.

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(435): Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage. http://tfl.nu/k0ri

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.

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(847): I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware. http://tfl.nu/l9zj

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.

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(502): I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis. http://tfl.nu/zjdj

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(713): View more from Texas

jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life

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(713): jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life http://tfl.nu/bfvb

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.

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(610): I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible. http://tfl.nu/74be

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(708): View more from Illinois

Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?

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(708): Someone played tic tac toe on my abs? http://tfl.nu/19a9

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(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...

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(734): Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages... http://tfl.nu/0g83

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.

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(973): Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality. http://tfl.nu/dmqi

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(303): View more from Colorado

Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.

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(303): Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever. http://tfl.nu/tsdi

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(775): View more from Nevada

all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.

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(775): all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now. http://tfl.nu/wlt7

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(614): View more from Ohio

at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.

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(614): at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure. http://tfl.nu/2f8p

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(386): View more from Florida

Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.

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(386): Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line. http://tfl.nu/hznj

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.

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(508): she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking. http://tfl.nu/8dis

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...

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(908): Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night... http://tfl.nu/qo8t

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