If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.