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Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
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