pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize