Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
