I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
