Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
