Even the bartender felt bad for me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
