i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
