Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
