he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The uberlube is also flammable
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
