He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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