am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
