So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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