I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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