HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
