We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
