Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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