My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
