he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize