So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize